You might be wondering about what should I do immediately after divorce?
Divorce can be an emotionally painful and stressful experience. It brings many changes and a lot of uncertainty. Just like tending to a broken heart, it’s important to allow yourself to feel grief and acknowledge the emotional impact of this transition. If you had a divorce and live in Utah, there are some necessary legal and financial steps you need to take right away to protect yourself, your children (if applicable), and your assets. Here is a guide to what to do immediately after your divorce to help you embrace a fresh start and see this as an opportunity for renewal:
16 Things To Do Immediately After Divorce
Get Copies of Your Legal Documents
After your divorce is finalized, obtain a certified copy of all essential legal paperwork. This includes your divorce decree, also known as the divorce judgment, which is the official court order finalizing your divorce and outlining the final terms of your divorce settlement. It takes 90 days to finalize a divorce in Utah.
If you have minor children, get certified copies of formal child custody agreements or parenting plan orders. Also, get certified copies of name change forms if you are reverting your last name after divorce.
You’ll also want certified copies of any paperwork related to the division of assets, including documents about property, financial accounts, vehicles, and other valuables.
Update Your Legal Name
If you change your last name when you get married, one of the first things you will want to do is legally change it back to your maiden name or another name if desired. You can request a name change in Utah as part of the divorce paperwork. The court order granting your divorce should specify your new legal name.
Make copies of this court order and use it to update your name on your social security card, driver’s license, passport, vehicle registration, voter registration, financial accounts, insurance policies, and anywhere else your legal name appears. Inform employers, government agencies, banks, schools, and service providers of your name change.
Sever Joint Accounts
If you have any joint accounts like bank accounts or credit cards, remove your ex-spouse from the accounts. Open new individual accounts in your name only.
Make sure to update account numbers and contact information with employers for direct deposit of paychecks and with companies who debit payments from your accounts.
After divorce, remember to separate joint bills such as utilities, car insurance, and cellphones to ensure all accounts are in your name only.
File a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO)
If you have retirement accounts like a 401(k) or pension that must be divided with an ex-spouse after divorce, you must file a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO). This is a separate court order that instructs how the retirement benefits, such as 401(k)s and pensions, will be split. The QDRO should be consistent with the terms outlined in your settlement agreement to ensure proper division and execution.
First, the QDRO gets drafted, usually by an attorney. It details how much of the account will be assigned to each spouse, how future contributions and investment earnings will be handled, the timing of payments, and more. The QDRO must follow specific guidelines to be qualified.
Change Your Will and Beneficiaries
Meet with an estate planning attorney to create or revise your comprehensive estate plan, including wills and trusts, to reflect your new status as divorced. Review and update other estate planning documents, such as powers of attorney, to ensure they align with your current wishes. Make sure to remove your ex partner from any documents or beneficiary designations as appropriate. Ensure your intentions for inheritance and medical decision-making are legally documented.
Review Insurance Policies
You will likely need to obtain health, dental, vision, life, and disability insurance on your own now that you are divorced. Review all existing policies you have through a spouse’s employer and make a plan to get alternate individual coverage if needed.
Consider COBRA, private insurers, or healthcare.gov plans. Update auto, home, and renters insurance, removing your ex-spouse if shared previously.
Consult an Attorney
Schedule a consultation with a divorce attorney to review your divorce settlement, decree, parenting plan, child support order, and guidance for carrying out the terms. Your attorney can clarify any confusing legal language, let you know your rights and obligations, and give tips for avoiding common post-divorce legal issues.
Learn About Taxes
The year you get divorced, you must update your tax filing status and file your taxes as either single or head of household. Your tax filing status for the tax year depends on whether your divorce was finalized by December 31. Consult a tax professional to see if you need to submit updated W-4 forms to employers and discuss tax implications of child support, alimony, and retirement plan divisions made during the divorce.
Check Credit Reports
Order credit reports from Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion. Review them closely for any joint credit cards, loans, or accounts that need to be separated. Look for inaccuracies in your individual report. Consider placing a credit freeze to prevent new fraudulent accounts from being opened.
Make Big Financial Decisions Slowly
Consult financial advisors and attorneys before making any major purchases, investments or money transfers in the months after your divorce. Don’t rush into a home purchase or other large expenditures, even if you get a lump sum settlement. Take time to stabilize your new budget first.
Additionally, revisit and adjust your investment strategy to ensure it aligns with your new financial circumstances and long-term goals.
Change Passwords and Get New Keys
Protect your security by changing all account passwords your spouse may have known – email, social media, online banking, etc. If you share a home, change the locks and ensure your ex returns any keys, garage door openers or access cards when they move out.
Remove Ex-Spouse from Accounts
Contact your utility providers, cable companies, phone carriers, streaming services, etc., to remove your spouse from any joint accounts. If needed, cancel services and open new accounts under your name only to avoid hassles.
Sell or Divide Valuables
Per your divorce settlement, divide up valuable possessions accumulated during your marriage – art, jewellery, collectables, designer property, the marital home, etc. Decide who keeps or sells the items. Get appraisals done as needed. Use funds from sales to cover expenses.
Protect Shared Digital Assets
If you have any digital property that will continue being shared with an ex, like photos or videos, use a third-party digital vault that allows shared controlled access. Also, be cautious of tools you once shared, like streaming services.
Analyze Your Budget
With your new single income and expenses, analyze your monthly budget carefully. Identify areas where you can reduce spending, like downsizing housing, getting a roommate, limiting dining out, or renegotiating/cancelling subscriptions and services. Build an emergency fund in case of unexpected expenses. Seek child support or alimony if applicable.
Focus on Your Mental Health
The stress of divorce can negatively impact your mental health. Monitor yourself for signs of depression, anxiety, anger, grief, and loneliness. Allow yourself to feel grief as a natural part of the healing process. If you are struggling to cope with the emotional aftermath, consider individual therapy to help process your feelings. Joining a support group can provide shared experiences and a sense of community during this time. Building a support network of friends, family, and professionals is essential for emotional support and understanding. Reach out to a friend for comfort and encouragement when you need it. Remember to care for your physical health alongside your mental health, as both are important for overall well-being. Divorce recovery is a hopeful phase of healing and personal growth, offering opportunities to rebuild and move forward. Seeking professional help from therapists or counselors is a proactive step to navigate these challenges. Focus on self-care and personal growth to become the best person and parent possible after divorce. Practice self-care by exercising, eating healthy meals, journaling, trying new hobbies, and making time for enjoyment.
Co-Parenting Strategies
Co-parenting after divorce can feel overwhelming, but with the right approach, you and your former spouse can create a stable, nurturing environment for your children. Open and respectful communication is key—consider using a shared calendar or a co-parenting app to coordinate schedules, share important updates, and keep everyone on the same page. Even if you and your ex don’t always agree, try to respect each other’s parenting styles and boundaries to minimize conflict and provide consistency for your kids.
It’s also wise to seek professional guidance if challenges arise. A therapist or counselor who specializes in co-parenting can help you navigate difficult conversations and develop strategies that work for your unique family dynamic. Don’t forget to review and update your estate planning documents, including your will, trust, and beneficiary designations, to ensure your children’s future is protected. By working together and focusing primarily on your children’s needs, you can build a positive co-parenting relationship that supports your family’s well-being as you move forward after divorce.
Setting Boundaries
Establishing clear boundaries with your ex-spouse is essential for your mental health and for building a healthy post-divorce relationship, especially when children are involved. Start by identifying what you’re comfortable with regarding communication, child custody arrangements, and interactions about finances or new relationships. Be honest with yourself about your needs, and communicate your boundaries to your ex-spouse in a respectful, straightforward way.
Boundaries might include limiting conversations to topics about your children, setting specific times for communication, or agreeing not to discuss personal matters unrelated to co-parenting. It’s also important to update your social media accounts and online profiles to reflect your new relationship status and privacy preferences, helping you move forward with confidence. Remember, setting boundaries isn’t about creating conflict—it’s about protecting your emotional well-being and creating space for a positive, productive relationship with your ex. Healthy boundaries allow you to focus on your own life and support your children as you all adjust to this new chapter.
Creating a New Routine
Building a new routine after divorce is a vital step in moving forward and embracing your new chapter. Start by taking a close look at your day-to-day life—what’s working, and what needs to change? You might need to adjust your living situation, work schedule, or social life to better fit your needs as a single person. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help, such as a therapist for emotional support or a financial advisor to help you review your investment accounts, retirement plans, and other financial matters.
Try introducing small changes that bring you joy and stability, like exploring new hobbies, joining a club, or spending more time with friends and family. Prioritize self-care by making time for activities that help you relax and recharge, whether that’s exercise, meditation, or simply enjoying a quiet evening at home. Remember, creating a new routine is a process—take it at your own pace, and give yourself permission to adjust as you go. By focusing on your well-being and planning for your future, you’ll set yourself on the right track for a fulfilling and happy post-divorce life.
FAQs
What documents should I have after the divorce?
Copies of the divorce decree, custody agreements, name change forms, and asset division paperwork. To stay organized and confident during your transition, consider using a post divorce checklist as a practical tool to ensure you have all necessary documents and tasks covered.
How long does it take time to finalize a divorce in Utah?
According to Utah law, you must wait 90 days to finalize your divorce. Also, you can only remarry once passing 91 days after filing a divorce.
What bills to cancel after divorce?
Joint bills and memberships in both names – phone plans, streaming services, and memberships. Open individual accounts.
When can I change my marital status after my divorce?
Once the divorce decree is issued, you can legally change your status to single, divorced, or widowed on forms and paperwork.
Final Words
The end of a marriage can be a tough transition full of logistical and emotional challenges. It often requires a huge amount of time, effort, and expense to complete the divorce process and move forward. Give yourself grace as you navigate this major life change. However, taking the proper steps at the outset to protect yourself legally and financially will provide peace of mind.
Remember, this is also a new beginning—an opportunity for growth and renewal as you move past a difficult chapter. Lean on your support system of family, friends, professionals, and community resources when you need help. Focus on self-care and establishing stability for you and your children as you heal, and prepare for the next chapter of your life with confidence.
